this was written last year in march. tapi tak publish hihiks. ari ni rasenye masenye telah tiba.
sebab? aku pon tatau sebabnye kekeke. tak tau nape tak publish. takot. malu. tak patot. tahhhhhhhh. jap-jap. ego ! tak relevan pulak rasenye.

apa yg buat aku tak publish entry ni yerr. ingat nak simpan dlm ati. ati ku dah itam * ati ke paru paru ko juNie?*.

nape tah bleh jadi cm ni. dulu smenye OK. ok ker? yeahh. half of me said OK. the other half said, bole lah. hihi. there were times when things went koo koo. :)

wokep... so he read one of the entries. so what? :( i secretly hope for that. may be for me to reach him out. tak dpt ckp, ckp soang-soang pon tak pe.

10.3.07 - 9.38pm

tingatkan die smlm. at times, i wanted to talk to you. why didnt i just grab the phone and call?. malas pk, sue pon tutup mate tros tido. rolled over and over. i can clearly see your face. jUnie tak tido lagik rupenye!!! * he he * tak penah lupe pon sme muka2 mereka. :). but this one tah laaaaaa. sme nye tak sempat. remain undone!!.

remembering the time when you were sitting next to me. listening to my stories. laughing at me and loving me. suddenly everything came back into my cracking head. couldn't stop thinking of you last night. you were there standing n smiling to me :).

cptnyer mase berlalu and yup, it has been too long already. i dont even remember why exactly we parted ways. yeah2 i do remember :(. i just dont want to think about it.

has it not been bitter since we had our days ? tell me. we dissappeared. No, it was me. walaupon sebenarnye die yg ilang. argh not again. everything changed. may be you are not the same najib i knew and likewise.

all this whle, i've missed you but i cannot tell you. there are reasons. firstly, u dont want me back. the second, what kind of woman who tells another man that, without him telling first?

wrote you a letter after u said it on the telephone. that 'dont want me back' part. yup. but i didnt send it over. i was scared. scared of what i dont want to hear. "the game is over" masih lagi terngiang2.

when it comes to put this up, i will go like it doesnt matter now. so maybe we were better off distance. whats the pooint justifying something we have left behind for so long? and now, talking about it? what good can come out of it? i let it out, that feels so good.

if we have left it for solong, then why we dont even care to do something about it back then? sebab, semuanya sudah ditentukanNya. kite tu kah sme ni akan berkesudahan mcm ni masetu? nope.

that brief affair was long over. i will still be here just like you do.

ps : i know why, because i have to let him go.